Joanna DeWolf: Self-proclaimed Renaissance Woman which is her fancy way of saying “Interested in so many different things that she changes her time commitments and interests often.” Currently, she learns with her two kids at home, teaches survival English to refugees, and eagerly anticipates geocaching excursions.
You can read Part 1 from yesterday here.
4. Am I willing to take the time and energy to honestly work through my emotions with others even when it gets ugly before it gets pretty?
Emotions are often a driving force in our lives. They give us the energy we need to do many of the hard things that others won’t even attempt. But emotions can turn on us on a dime. Those same emotions become blinders especially blinding us to the very people we love most. What drives us forward then becomes a weapon that drives over others. And it takes time and trust to work through those emotions with others.
5. Am I willing to listen, say, “I’m sorry,” AND say, “Let’s try it your way,”?
Let’s face it. Sometimes when we shout loudest, “That’s not fair!” what we really mean is “That’s not most fair for me!” But that’s a little long to say and requires us to accept the reality that the world and even my dream is more than just about me. Leaders who are not willing to try anyone else’s ideas will eventually lead only themselves after a time. We have to admit our mistakes and validate other’s ideas and personhood by trying it someone else’s way.
6. What shared system can I agree to even though it may make me feel a little boxed in?
Out of the box is fun. And this kind of thinking is what brings innovation in good ways, but when a group of people get together there has to be SOME type of agreed upon box. Some people need that box to be bigger and stronger than others. We’ll all have to give. In all likelihood, the box will not be perfect for anyone. Clearly, at this stage, less is more. But anytime you get a group together there needs to be some kind of agreed upon structures, rules or principles. This establishes a basis of trust and consistency and tempers self-centered decision-making.
7. Can I come to peace with the fact that I can never provide all of someone else’s needs, wants, demands or requests?
Our compassionate side always wants those we love to be smiling, comfortable, and have what they need. But one of those needs is also to be challenged. Have you considered recently how difficult it is to keep yourself happy all the time? If you can’t do that, can you realistically keep everyone else happy all the time?
Lastly, I believe a helpful framework is to give a time commitment and no matter how hard it gets, stick to your commitment. Give it 111% throughout that time frame. After fulfilling your responsibility to the best of your ability, revisit these questions. Carefully determine whether you will continue with the existing team or pursue the dream in a different fashion or with a different group of people. Then move forward honestly.
[Continued from Part 1]