Giving Up
Published by: Gisele Nelson
April 2, 2012

This hits a little too closely to home for me right now. It’s not something I’m extremely excited to think through fully, but at the same time, I think it’s something that’s going to resonate with you and might also make you squirm. It is definitely doing that for me.

In order to pursue the things we dream of, it often means something has to be given up to make room for it. We have to at times set aside desires, passions, and dreams to pursue other things. Sometimes what we have to place on the back burner are things that we’re not all that excited about anymore anyway, but other times there’s the sharp and painful realization that we are having to sacrifice something that is meaningful to make room for something else. It might also mean that those close to us have to sacrifice for us. [This is where I start to squirm.]

I decided to move to Atlanta when I finished college to pursue something that seemed good to me at the time. It didn’t end up panning out, but I left family, friends, a sense of home, and familiarity to see what might come of my adventure. I felt the loss of having to leave everything else behind to see what COULD be. I felt isolated and afraid. As excited as I was to pursue my adventure, I also saw very clearly what it was costing me.

A few weeks ago I was cleaning out some old boxes and found notes my family and friends had written me when I first moved. I realized while I was re-reading those notes what they sacrificed for ME at the time to support my dream-chasing. When I left I only saw what I was leaving behind. I didn’t consider that each of them in various ways were giving something up in order to love and support me in my new venture. It’s only been after learning to let others go to pursue their passions that I have realized how much giving is done on BOTH sides. My dream-chasing was costly. I also still believe very strongly that it was what I should have done, even with the price-tag associated.

This adds a level of complication to our pursuits. As much as we have to give up to pursue our passions, if we’re on the right track, it’s likely  others will also have  to give something up for us so we can have the chance to pursue what we love. Knowing that there will have to be sacrifices made does not mean that it shouldn’t still be pursued. It should be an added check-point in our process. If we fail to consider it, the first time we find ourselves having to sacrifice something, or having to ask someone else to sacrifice something, we might chuck the whole thing. But if we’re willing to take an honest look at what our idea may require, and we STILL choose to pursue it, it likely will deepen our commitment to it.

I find myself asking these questions…
If I pursue this, what will I need to set aside?
Could it be worth it?
If I pursue this, what will I potentially be asking others to set aside?
Do I still think it’s worth it?

Yes? DIVE IN! Give it all you’ve got.

What have you had to set aside or give up in order to pursue what you were dreaming of? What happened?

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kaylee-Page/22418571 Kaylee Page

    Oh thanks so much for this! Giving up, beautiful and difficult. Always something to be grieved with change — even if change for the better!

  • http://twitter.com/shinabarger Jeff Shinabarger

    Really challenging thoughts Gisele. The statement about giving something up to make room for something else, is really important. It seems like in our society, it is very difficult to ever opt out of anything? We are tracked continuously and yet we can’t keep up with everything. I remember Bob Goff sharing at our retreat that “we can do many things, but we are only made for a few.” Finding those few things in life that only we can do is a really important process. It is super hard, but extremely important.

  • http://www.facebook.com/gisele.nelson Gisele Nelson

    That was one of his quotes that really stuck with me too. To become REALLY good at something, we have to be committed to being really good at it. It’s hard when there are too many things vying for our attention. 

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